it spells Z.H.U.A.N.G

2010-08-01T17:03:00.001+08:00

gals and guys,
this blog is shifted,
new add,
http://from-jiezhuangeyes.blogspot.com
thank you =)

a random one

2010-07-08T22:17:00.003+08:00

今天，仿佛注定要发生所有不如意的。

车，撞到了，裂了。
人，没事。
钱，赔了。
第一次，撞成这样。

朋友啊，
世界还是围你而绕，
但，不是为你而绕。
说话，要对人，对场合。

是时候，放手了，别太在意吧。
太在意，自己伤心而已。
是你变了吗？
巩固的友情，
说换就换，说不是你就不是你。
排行榜，原来别人上升的这么快，
也不才，两年的时间。

千篇一律的对不起，
让人麻木。
换回来的没关系，
没有意义了。
这是，给你的。

好吧，
二十岁的我，
开始学习，
对着不喜欢的任何事，要面带笑容!

记得，最后，
随时给自己准备一个微笑，
告诉自己，
我可以!!!

2010-07-07T21:23:00.002+08:00

why da same thing repeats again and again..
getting mad not because of da incident..
is, da same mistake again..

i wish i am stern ennough this time..
and da curse thing, stupid idiot i cant log in my FB!!!

再见是再也见不到吗？

2010-06-26T22:19:00.010+08:00

Met with quite a few people these few days..
friends and relatives..
and settled my flight ticket..
confirm that will be depart to HK on 20th 7am.
it cost RM398 for my one way and RM680 for mum's two way..
hotel has been selected too..
gotta book it soon..
visa had done, got it on friday..

studies stuff are almost prepared..
less than two months, I will be in another land..
CNY ticket cost me more den 1k..
not sure should i come back, though i know dad is very willing to pay for it..
it is still seem expensive to me..
shall decide after i get my uni schedule..

要走了，
今晚，又有重重的不舍...
有一些东西，还是放不下...
有一些心愿，永远不能实现...

阿公，婆婆，
今晚，很想你们...
好想亲口告诉你们，
我要上大学了...
想看到你们开心的模样...
还记得，
你说，要供我读书...
你说，要好好读，不要浪费任何机会...
妳和我说的话，虽然我印象模糊了...
但是，妳的笑容，我是忘不了的...
小时候，妳帮我扎辫子，我还记得...
遗憾，你们看不到我们大学毕业...
可是，
想告诉你们，
庄，bi，翔长大了，真的长大了...=)

享受你们在另一个世界的生活吧...
欠缺什么，告诉我们就好了..

2010-06-15T22:21:00.001+08:00

又一次
要把一段感情
用时间来尘封
直到忘记

不喜欢
这种感觉
久违的感觉
又来了

好想，心想事成

2010-06-15T22:05:00.002+08:00

好想有人告诉我
放心吧一切会没事的长大了翅膀够硬了可以自己飞自己找方向

心, 一碰就碎,
算了, 好想说, 习惯就好~

对，长大了.长大了..长大了...

100611( ***** )

2010-06-12T15:12:00.003+08:00

0+ : " 甘心.舍得. "
0-> : " 流最多的泪.遗憾.内疚. "

下一个
幸福的她

舍不得依依不舍
紧紧抱着拥抱着

2010-06-08T01:43:00.001+08:00

tell me, tomorrow, wed, thurs and fri will be good good good days..=)

jobless day

2010-06-05T15:41:00.005+08:00

okay my daily routine since i became jobless on 1st of June:

- woke by renovation noise (yes, my house is renovating, and i am moving another room soon)
- clean myself, have breaky, read paper
- wait for my mum to come back with my lunch!
- lunch and rest
- beauty nap
- help dad to clean house as da workers had left
- dinner
- online, facebook, blogs, pps, zoo tycoon
- chat
- sleep

i did these repeatedly for few days, omg, damn damn damn bored..h.e.l.p

and i am looking forward,
for da 2 trips, for my new look of my house..

p/s: jz saw my purplish wall =)

勇气

2010-06-03T16:57:00.001+08:00

加油吧！
没事的，一切会顺利的。

勇气，是存在的，
只是，谁把它藏起来了？

加油（笑一个）

untitled

2010-06-02T12:08:00.002+08:00

today is da 2nd day which i stay at home,

when i stop working this month..

boss didnt deduct my salary although i took 2 days leave..

on-and-off, missing my students, my children..

still thinking of their ways of talking, laughing, quarreling..lolx..

once before, they seems devilish to me..

got some minor plan on this 2 months before i depart..

really have to start study abit..

i am a nerd now..

kinda miss dat time, where all da knowledge is in my mind,

which i can think and solve question..

opt for that feeling again..

hope da trips are well planned and be really successful..

spend a memorable with my beloved and family..

then i will leave with no regrets..

t.r.e.a.s.u.r.e

hopedatripissuccessful=(

2010-05-30T12:43:00.003+08:00

30.05.2010 是今天

23.08.2010是我离开的那天

就这样，还有两个月半。

开心吗？我不开心。

我不舍

不舍我的好友，

不舍我的爱人，

更不舍，我的家人。

十分不舍得他们。

妈妈说，庄，以后没有人陪我买衣服了；

爸爸说，庄，以后没有人帮你收拾房间，要独立了；

老弟说，姐，好好地看外面的世界，不要留在这里了，可以走就走。

曾经的我，有多么想离开这里，

以前看到朋友有机会到外国留学，总是十分十分的羡慕，

但是，到我真的可以飞了，心中却十分的不想走。

有人告诉我，好好珍惜，以后长大了，没有机会一家人常聚在一起了。

喔，与家人在一起，我会好好珍惜，

这一切，以后，我都十分想念。

我的朋友，感情淡了吗？误会解了吗？生气还有吗？

我错了，你错了，谁错了？

我不在意，不重要了。

那一份情，我收在心了，收好了！

不要怀疑，我把你们放在我心里的重量，

从以前到现在，它没有变。

到你了，我亲爱的。

远距离的爱，我真的没有信心~

没有，没有信心，没有勇气，没有安全感。

所以，我在逃避，

是不是不去想，一味地觉得那是不可能发生的事，

分离就不会发生？

为什么，往往，我都要和那一伴分开？

没有长久的吗？

对不起，一到夜晚，我就好怕，

心灵的孤单，恐惧，

表达不到给你，不懂怎么说，

我不是有意，把这些都搞砸，对不起。

2010-05-24T20:31:00.000+08:00

赢了场架，输了断情.

2010-04-29T23:02:00.003+08:00

LAUGH OUT LOUD..
THAT PERSON..
TALKING DRAMA HERE AND THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I CAN FINALLY SHOUT LOUDLY HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ABHOR, HATES!!!
I DUN SCOLD BAD WORDS.L.OL.

2010-04-29T21:35:00.003+08:00

NTU and NUS offers are out!

got 1st choice from NUS and 2nd choice from NTU..

sounds not bad, rite?

should be satisfy, cuz at least, no need to stay here..

but, who knows, these are not my final destinations..

cuz, da decision had been made before that,

with no turning back..

everyone thinks, wah zhuang..

now you must be da most relax wan..

nothing to worry, to fan..

money prob, edu prob..

almost everyone tell me this, which i hate da most..

you all, can never und my feelings..

i dont like to hear all these..

this is because,

it is a decision, which i cant alter anymore..

unlike you all, still can think and consider..

there is no space, for me to change my mind,

even i feel regret..

so,

why should i feel happy or relieve?

i am feeling,

more worry and uncertain that you all..

i understand,

everyone has their own problem to fan..

i sholdn't say so,

like i am showing off or being chuan..

but, for monents like now..

i hat this feeling..

hate da feeling of growing up..

when you need to see so many fake faces in front of you.

even da bestest fren,

who knew you for years..

make countless drama in front or behind you..

too many dramas, which i sometime dont feel happy hanging out with them..

using hinden words, expressions and eye contacts..

feel that, bear wif that, but..

one day, fed up..

and yet, blames are all on you..

why..

face problem..

keep saying sum dou tam..

who feel more sum tam at this time..

once a best buddy,

turn around, saying like that behind and in front you..

no point talk so much here..

in this space wif no privacy..

believe me..

rumours are goin around again after i post this,

or even i post somethin in my fb status..

fast and effective, only on this kind of things..

plannings, doing other important things..

never..

cuz, attitude..

i dun deserve a good attitude..

so i dun deserve a good response from you..

yes, t.o.o.m.a.n.y.d.r.a.m.a.life is drama..

2010-04-25T22:48:00.002+08:00

I AM HAPPY TODAY =)
HAV LOTS OF FUN WITH MY NS BUDDIES.
I AM VERY HAPPY, THAT WE STILL HOLD OUR FRIENDSHIP SO STRONG LIKE NOW,
THOUGH WE DIN MEET UP FREQUENTLY..

AND, TODAY IS MY BRO'S BIG DAY..
HE IS FINALLY 18TH, MATURE ENOUGH..
I GET HIM A SLING BAG, WITH MY SALARY..
HOPE HE LIKES IT..
AND I GOT MYSELF A CARDIGAN..
I AM CURRENTLY ADDICTED TO CARDIGAN..

BRO, I AM PROUD OF YOU!
KEEP IT UP AND I NOE, YOU ARE HAEDING TO A BRIGHT FUTURE =)

2010-04-25T22:25:00.002+08:00

在那工作，也有超过半个月了..
这一段时间，也不是没学到什么..
反而，对自己的心灵发展，有了一些些的改变..
开始了解，觉得一个完整的家，原来是那么的重要..
相处亲密的夫妻，有爱有责任的家庭，
对小孩子而言，是带着这么大的影响..
父亲的错，妈妈的怨，家庭的缺口..
小孩说，怎么办？我不知道..

每天，就这样的，听着听着..
不同的故事，不一样的原因..
导致最后，小孩子成了罪人..

我看到了，
小男孩，
失望，不解的眼神..
静静地，把字继续写完..
伤心无言的表情..
原来不是大人独有的..

所以，现在的我..
更加地，
珍惜家人，爱我的人，我爱的人..

不会再，
斤斤计较，爱比较..
什么比较好，谁比较厉害..
是由自己决定，不是别人..

现在的我，明白这个道理..
更希望以后的我，掌握这个原理..

老套一句，
加油吧!
不需要别人，你也可以活..
为自己而活，让自己快乐！

重新说一遍，
在那工作，不是一无所获..
反而对自己的想法，
有了一定的改变..
至少对我的未来，
有了那么一点点的头绪..

加油!

2010-04-04T00:50:00.001+08:00

恐惧，害怕，惊慌，不懂怎么办，怎么好？
错了，不对
后悔，
但不能回头 =（
很怕

2010-03-12T22:01:00.002+08:00

hallo, man!
bored till rotten staying home..
seriously, i want a job, to kill time..

had a little personal shopping 2dy in jj..
bought the Balm eyeliner pencil at SASA..
wanted kate's at 1st but out of stock..
this one abit pricey but nvm..
da effect is not bud..lolx..

spend really alot on those things recently..
and yes, i got da BB cream d..go to buy wif zee..
da packaging is purple colour also..haha..
okay lar, enuf..
get more next time..

da only thing i hav to busy with this week,
settle da uni thingy..
many procedures..
now almost done,
jz hav to ensure da doc reach to them safely..
da TNT ppl told me thay cant find da uni cuz i din write Chinese add..
stupid..
is impossible lar..
DHL all those also can do it..
settle that den i can leave it aside d..

okay ler,
enuf crapping..
i jz feel too bored..
ntg to do..

2010-03-09T23:19:00.006+08:00

yesterday night was an unpleasant one..
1st time i acting so to those ppl in public..
where everyone can see..
i was feeling unease, no confident and i think i was wrong..
wrong to act so emotionally like i always did..

finally, tonight, you all told me..
i am right..
i am so glad to hear all these, wow brave, BRAVO, thank you, leave it, let it be, etc..
and all da likes in my status..
gals,these give me confidence..i appreciate, truely..
and i am impressed by my guts now..

it had also taught me a lesson..
be mindful on wat you do and speak..
it will affect how ppl examine you..

i will be aware on my every move,
no matter where i stay..
i didn't say i wont be back..
no matter how, here is still me home town,
and i will return home, where my parents stay..
family is still da very first priority to me..

THANK YOU =)

2010-03-06T14:19:00.004+08:00

ok..i jz back from kl yday..
tiring trip..
walk and walk, shop and shop..
we arrive sunway pyramid before da shops open, for three days..
every morning,kay? walk ill evening, and hav dinner..
den walk again for awhile only we wanna go back to hotel..
had never experience this..
eh, nope..
da 2nd day we went mid valley..
but still da same routine, walk and shop..
malaysia ktm is so inefficient, till it delay for more than 20 mins..
stupid..
ok, one more thing,
sunway pyramid map is our best fren..
we check we see we search..

bought some nice things..
clothes, nail polish (purple,kay? lolx), eye shadow (zee, i tried it, really nice! damn nice! NO REGRET! haha)...
and i finally finally finally get a cardigan that fits me!
i tried so many, all are too loose for me..argh..

i got to know my application reply during da trip..
yes i got full scholarship..
i didnt expect, at all..
and my parents are so happy and excited..
1st time i see them acting like that..
my dad ask me straight bank in registration fees, no more hesitation..
but i was blur, i was puzzle, i was not mentally prepared..
after one night, things became better and i decided to accept it..

okay, 1st thing to learn now, cook!
i dun wanna get starve next time..
and i am pondering, should i revise abit on chemistry?
i dun wan to be a nerd when i go there..
so malufying, duno how you able to get da scholarship..
anyway, will think bout it later..
now hav to settle everything 1st, application procedure, apply student visa, fill in form, open bank account, etc etc..

do come visit me! and seriously, for very sure, I WILL MISS EVERYONE WHO I KNOW..

2010-02-22T21:21:00.001+08:00

BLOGSTIPATION!!! :(

work~

2009-12-15T22:42:00.002+08:00

start my work for two days..
newbie, know nothing, learn everything from zero..

i get a job at a physician clinic at hosp fatimah new block..
new experience and it adds life to da holiday..

let's talk bout da first day of work..
it is great actually..
i am not much care bout da salary, i care more on what i gain..

haha..get to know on medicine name and its usage is da first income..
i only recognise two now..hehe..but i am d delighted..
lots of biological terms to understand..
and basic filing, reading report plus all kinds of tests..
more important, i get chance to interact with different kinds of patient from all backgrounds..

i think, this job is more useful to those who want to take medicine or pharmacy as their future course..
cause you will really see how a hospital works, how da system goes..
i am still blur blur bout it..need to adapt faster..
yday boss asked if i wanna be a doc..
i told him i didnt take physics and engineering courses is da one i consider now..
hah, such a controversy..

but never mind, it does not mean i will not switch my mind one day..
cause, physics student can take med course!
mr khong said, handling those diagnosis machines are all about physics..

so, i decide to give myself 2 months to think which kind of job i hope for,
after that only decide what course to take..

lucky me, i got a good colleague..
her husband is a nus master graduate..
she gave me quite some useful comments that i need to consider..
because before that, i think of taking undergraduate course in taiwan..
got advice from my bro, read some books and links..
still indecisive..haih..

work and no play now
and need to have a deep thought in selecting choice of courses..
i dont like it seriously..=(

2009-12-15T22:30:00.002+08:00

haha..end d =)

6th form night

graduation day

party time

bbq

2009-12-15T21:57:00.002+08:00

everyone calls it a nightmare..
but da nightmare lasts so long yet ends so fast..
with a glimpse of eye..
my form six finished, and i have not prepared for it..

viewing back, da days are tough, rush but fun=)
seriously, i miss it..
let it be da moments of studying, chatting, yawning, rushing tuition classes, skipping school, eating in class, and more and more..
never to forget, da pre-exam syndrome..
books, notes, formulae, library..
memorise~memorise~, calculate~calculate~, read~read~
free time in school is all reserved by maths papers,
time after school is booked by library..

HAHA!!! such a criticism..
this life, i can never have it, i should, feel great, feel relieve..
but instead, da feeling is - lost..
yes, i feel lost..
break da dawn with aimless routine,
yumcha, movies, shopping do not make it satisfied..
and i can count da time now..
help, i need assistance, i opt direction..

more, i miss my friends, i miss my classroom..
(p/s : i want our down memory lane err..who having it? post it ^^ )

after all, form six is not that bad..
it leads you to a different perception..
it "brighten" my mind..
at least, it gives a new life for me,
who trap myself in amc for so many years..
samtet though sounds worse..
that is some feeling, some atmosphere,
that you fail to search it in amc..
presently, amc gives me a cool feeling..
i think, as an old gal like me, visitting amc is not welcomed,
especially by da administration people..

i used to take samtet as a life path station..
but waiting my next journey in this station,
no regret=)

gar yau, my friends! <3

2009-10-05T16:01:00.003+08:00

年轻的时候,
女人买的往往是最华丽, 最能垫高自己高度的鞋,
即使难穿也没关系,
因你觉得自己可以忍受,
但有一天,
忍耐到拇指外翻, 脚起水泡,
她才发现鞋子的重要性不过是
" 陪你走路, 不是要站在原地, "

你不需要任何鞋来增加你的高度,
因为, 态度决定高度..
你本来就是这个样子了..

(转载)
--------- ---------

我只能说,
正当大家议论纷纷,
十分不解..
为什么,
你可以为了在份数榜上拥有更高的席位,屏了老命去读书,
你可以为了增加自己的高度而和一人一起,
你可以为了要看不起身边的人而用十分不屑的语气,
你可以为了突现自己的幸运而贬低'华语派'的人..

虽然如此, 庆幸的, 地球不因你而转..
我只能说, 人各有志..
你的志想, 不外是, 踩着别人向上攀..

--------- ---------

2009-08-30T18:31:00.003+08:00

i found this at chicken soup, and i copy it down..

it sounds interesting, and how far da truth is, i depends on how you think..

i am gotta sit for my trial in not more than 24 hours..

didnt really prepare well..

this hoiday is so much into my c901..

i love da camera..

and i addicted to da games..

play once and once again..

and on9 to search for things and make it look nice..

i adore da phone colour..

stress is getting better..

keep telling myself, take it easy and do my best..

jia you jia you!

2009-08-27T17:24:00.005+08:00

爱上了当宅女
喜欢留在家,
喜欢我的房间,
爱我的床,
爱我的电话,
爱追看连续剧,
爱和我爸妈聊天,
爱跟我弟弟斗嘴,

爱,一个人呆着..
爱,沉醉在自己的世界...

可是,
就是不怎么爱我的书本..
下星期二就预考了,
记不完的程式,
读不完的课本,
做不完的练习,
不喜欢考试,
不喜欢考试压力带来的失眠,
不喜欢头脑硬梆梆,实实的感觉,
讨厌上学,
讨厌那不懂扮懂的老师,
讨厌你争我斗的气氛,
讨厌学校无聊的政策...

我要呆在家,
我要做我爱做的事,
我要做我...

人,不过如此..

it called a day

2009-08-17T16:48:00.007+08:00

yeah yeah..i am home now..
reach home earlier today..
cuz i skipped maths tt..haha..
reason, i dont feel like going..
but actually i'd decided to go untill i saw da small notes on my car wiper..
which inturn change my decision..
it is from my long-never-contact buddy and softball teammate-ms chew yan-yu..
initially i phoned them and ask them to wait for me till after my class,
but at last i decided to skip..really feel reluctant to go..
however. sadly. i didnt get to meet her..
she gotta go home since her mum is frus on her often outing practice lately..
anyway, i spend a good time with huishi and gang at kopitiam..
chat from girlboy relationship, college life, form six life, ppl's boyfriend, gals gossips......
she says, when you study outside, you will get mentally mature and know everything is not easy..
i am still studying at my home town and staying with my family, but i can understand what does she mean..
mayb not totally understand but at least i know it will be indeed tough..
i dont want da time when i have to worry my daily meal, when i need to spend within budget every month, when there is noone around during my sick time, when i feel so empty before i sleep..
anyway, i think after stpm, it is time to learn up how to live on my own..

我不急着长大，只想学着长大..

these stuff, fill up my days last two week, and predictable, da following months..

----------------------------

i read this in newspaper last few days..meaningful text..it just hit my point..my new policy, live happier in life..

skip a tuition class but gain a nice chat, i think, it is totally OKAY..

at least, i did something to make myself happy..

i didnt see da people i dont want to, i didnt feel da stressful atmosphere, i didnt stuck in da stuffy place for 2 hours..

haha..today, i am happy!

and this, gear me forward..one big stack of physics notes (ps:36 chapters to be tested) plus school notes and reference book..

i need to get way to motivation, i need energy~

end with this, nice decoration of cupcakes..

thinking to skip school again tomorrow..see ya..=)

sharing

2009-08-11T21:44:00.004+08:00

since SHARNG IS CARING

so let's update a bit on my happenings recently..

needless to say, everyone is in exam MODE, trial is just 20 more days..sadly, i got no study mood
secondly, a disappointing case, i didnt get my ideal results in muet..i feel down because i think i had wasted my parents' tuition fees, i failed to achieve target set by miss mindy, she is a really nice tutor i had meet, perhaps da nicest one..anyhow, i didnt retake and i had been using very few English lately, which shown by my cacated language used now..
instead, my days filled by tonnes of endless equations, formulae, numbers, compound names............nightmare..
my class did some recording for down memory lane and graduation song..it is quite fun..but i think some of them were suffering from da responsibilities bear..final results is not important to us, frankly..we just treasure da moments..
i attended farewell parties and annual dinners for 3 consecutive saturdays..waited so long da this day to pass thing to da new committees but now, i feel tak berat hati lar..time passes in a blink of eye..
i watched transformer with my family..dad and mum got very bored and nearly fell asleep..they just cant understand..it is within expectation ler..i too get hard to follow and go into da story line..ok, personally i don't like robot..
da most precious thing i gain this while is, i start to treasure da time spend with my family..previously i used to take this as a nature and i get it for no reasons..but now, i comprhend that it is a treasure to me and i must appreciate and love them for da most i can..
dad bought me a new phone..it is a sudden decision and he choosed da phone for me..sometimes, i think he really pampering us too much, and makes me love him more..
i get sick for few times..last two week, my class is having flu outbreak..hehe..non-stop sneezing, coughing..virus everywhere=)

__limited pictures__

2009-08-11T21:26:00.003+08:00

okay..
looking back my blog,
it looks ntg but depressing and blue..
i think, i should made a change, abruptly..

erm..had been in this new life for more than one year..
i changed, mentally..
i get to be very reluctant to express or share my feeling..
i find hard to communicate with ppl sometimes..
i always feel emotional and throw tantrum easily..
i can look perfectly good at this moment and change to hatred face in da next..
i get unsatisfy with others very often..
i overly care others' opinion on me..

regardless anything, i don't like myself to act so irrational..
i hate myself to be mentally weak..
l loss confidence, loss da faith in myself, loss da ability to be nice to ppl..
although, it had been a countless times i told myself that i want to change,
i always fail..

without any acknowledgement, i cannot blame all this to others or da surroundings..
because it is very obviously that in every situation,
it is all depend on how you take it and gain experience..

with da time left in my last high school life, i really sincerely hope that i can gain something useful..
it is neither results nor position..
but is da lessons gained which concerned..

time to put a huge ending to my current though..
i want to make it this time..

2009-07-20T19:21:00.001+08:00

days have been so blue..
which i totally dislike..-_-

2009-07-08T19:14:00.001+08:00

wait, i got a new quote..
we count weeks like couting days..

can i have more than 24 hours a day?
can da 134 days come slower?
i pray..

2009-07-08T19:03:00.002+08:00

damn damn damn!!!
da big FAT FAT FAT monster..
very annoying~
spot her and discard her..
arg~ i hate monster..i hate monster!!!

2009-06-14T16:01:00.003+08:00

holiday officially ends today..
had been wandering da time away..
did really little things in da past two weeks..

did not really catch up with friends..
everyone is busy with own stuff..
anyway, fortunate it is still in time to kill quality time with classmates during bbq,
and most precious to me, spend some indeed good time with family..

had almost done new moon..
wanna get eclipse soon..
hope popular or mph promotion has not ended before i want it..

will be out of line for quite a long time..
when school starts, hell knows i am gotta stay until 4pm..
such a big credit to da beloved principal..
and tonnes of schoolwork with tuition classes awaiting..
life becomes busy again like how it should be..

psychology playing up..
feel bad on da current aimless life..
like losing my motivation, my form six policy..
hpe i can get well prepared to tackle da following months with full of strength..

cause everyone knows, i cant afford to fool around or idle for nothing or let time to slip away anymore..
i only have 6 months to go..perhaps, less than 6 months..
thing is not gotta be da same and i dont want to feel remorse..

2009-06-02T20:05:00.002+08:00

赐给,怪兽..赐给,自己..

自己技不如人
就别责怪别人的高傲

那是别人的能力
让他有高傲的权力

与其同时
自己也正是如此
才会被别人充诉高傲

2009-06-02T20:01:00.001+08:00

真正的好朋友
会时常在我们的身边
不管你需要或不需要

好朋友
会渐渐忽视我们
如果我们不懂得
要如何珍惜和感谢他们

2009-06-01T22:45:00.003+08:00

望了一望外面的世界
原来自己在乎的
是那么的狭窄

得到之前得不到的
却失去之前最珍贵的
这, 就是人生吗?

总告诉自己
要放开心窗
但是,真的做到了?

现在,
仿佛失去了整个世界
只剩下你

是我太自以为是
是我太高傲
是吧
身边所察觉的一点一滴
都告诉我了

a year

2009-05-30T21:04:00.005+08:00

as time passes, memory does not fade, yet it counts..

parting in lower six orientation reminds me da moment when i first step to sam tet..
still fresh, young, innocent and still, being in my own sweet world..
doing sixth form in sam tet, may not be that great as all da outsiders think..
listening to da complains and unsatisfactory from us, da gals..you can actually imagine how is da lives we are goin through day after day..
anyhow..should not merely talking on da bad sides..it however, has its pros in some extents..

sixth form, has been so long yet so fast..365 days, had just passed..

as a part in sixth form society, frankly, i didn't do well..had been irresponsible for quite a few times..had thrown tantrum to some unfavoured incidents..had created some communication breakdowns which ultimately lead to quarrels..relationship form and break and form again..regardless da strength of friendship gained, i feel contented enough..in all, i too had gone through countless of first time..doing ballet, designing dress with recyclable materials, having vacation with newly known committees, playing netball (though i did really bad), drawing banners and da list goes on and on..

things constantly be sweet and bitter..but, i still feel thankful, to be a sixth form committee..organising every single programme and function together, is no doubt added colours to da seemingly struggle and tough sixth form life..

USST-a place that teaches me managing with conflicts..it reveals to me, how to deal with tasks given by your authority when you are not intend to take it as your responsibility..school authority i am meaning and i feel being exploited, at da same time, fail to help da needy..however, think optimistically..isn't our future working society practising da same rules? so, take it as a process, a learning path..grab as much skill as you can although da environment is not conducive..

informally, USST had given me some sence of belongings..i feel secure, whenever i step into da room..is just a home to us..a place where we have non-stop jokes, and of course, endless food supply..=P

pangkor trip, inti camp and school pre-camp are da main tools that pull us together..they diminish da generation gap between excos from two forms..chatting through da whole night at inti, revealing secrets from each other on da beach, making camp fire, singing loudly and out of tone on da seaside like nobody's care, tucking in our favourite ramly burger as supper, gossiping on campers, visiting house by house during cny, singing birthday song for every exco, imitating mr.phang during inti camp, walking like a backpacker in taiping to search for an ideal campsite and so and so and so..last but not least, our trade song, ayer..ayer..ayer..of different kind of versions! gals and guys, i feel really great, to be one of them sharing da similar memory as yours..

going from L6F1 to U6F1..although stress had accounted for da major part..i am glad, to have 24 of you as classmates..we may seem, not much interaction between and among each other, but their unique characteristics are etched in my mind..

teachers are not da best..but some of them are indeed cute and fun..

firstly, our maths teacher, miss ong treats us like friends..she too behaves like a child very often..she likes to pinch da boys, just da boys..and she changes her cloths like fashion models..da best part of hers is..she teaches and shows da calculation without complaining, although she has to repeat it for trillion times..( note: this is only true when come to face to face teaching..:) )

mr khong is da one who likes to freeze us with his cold jokes..intend to make us comprehend da theory well..sadly, he is retiring soon..

other teachers, have no comments..

on da other hands, sixth form life expose me to various kind of persons..not to mention much, but all of them..gives me different experiences, neither good or bad, and some, lessons are learned..

i meet fishmongers, monsters, big mouths..at da same time, i befriend with price and princess, da truthful ones, da generous people, jokers..

one year in sam tet, is totally different from what i had been through in my high school..it has been so unfamiliar to da extent, i always dream that life can go backwards..

for da present, still so much room for improvement..

especially dealing with people and matters with a more rational and reasonable way..

i dislike myself, still remain so immature..

i feel reluctant, to grow in age but not in mind..

2009-03-10T18:28:00.001+08:00

i thought..
i overestimated..

today,
da inner soul
is totally awake..

year 2008

2009-01-03T16:31:00.031+08:00

YEAR 2008

yes, i am in kenari company, symbolised by red colour..

parents visiting day

open day

my friends came!

first time in baju kurung

those who stay beside me for tears and cheers

i had learned more on cultures..

learned da importance of friendship..

learn to fight with my M16..

learned to stay healthy..

learned that bond is formed through sincerity..

and at very last, i gratuated!=)

i feel fortunate, to be chosen..

-------

18th birthday <3>

birthday wishes card all da wat from family to me when i am in camp..it brought tears, i was touched..

-------

yes, we hang out..

went butterworth..

and nevet forget, my classbuddies..

too, gathering with softball teammates..

took sticker pictures..

had a trip in genting..nice one..

-------

it comes to an end..

-------

first function in samtet--teachers' day celebration..

next coming up was, inter-class competition..i played netball..but did it to my worst..=(

farewell for upper six seniors..comm actually enjoyed ourselves more..winks..

awesome trip to cameron..freezing cold weather is taken over by our warm laughters..smile ppl!

da long-waited one..sixth form night! we work it out successfully and hard work is paid off..feeling great..and comm try their best to perform..we had our dancing!

a distress bbq party after a long hectic final exams..

a treat to thank our hard work for preparing da sixth form night..

i took part in trailblazer organised by rage, star paper..unforgettable experience although did not manage to get into final.

-------

USST, a path to learn different way of dealing with societies problems..

farewell and birthday celebration for excos..

charity concert of samtet at stadium..helping da school, meanwhile, had our own fun..

even got da chance to follow to subang for another charity concert..shouted our lungs out that night..get high!! met singers and artists..

pulau pangkor is undoubtedly an ideal place for relaxing..had a three days two nights trip there..a very memorable one, da candled-love at da first night is etched..relationship among excos is fostered..i love da beach, da sandy one..had left our footprints there, made wishes in da gold-turtle bottle which was then thrown to da sea on our way home..nice trip!

-------

we grab da chance, ipc had fun at lost world..laugh to da maximum..get da long-lost feeling of stern frienship which hold us from aparting..

-------

a camp is held at inti college, nilai..usst took part..but, to our disappointment, it ended to be not as it supposed to..however, we gained something, narrowing da gap between form six and form four excos..night talks is fun, rite?

-------

spend my xmas eve with these two gals who always stay by my side, giving me support and cheers..da other two were enjoying in japan and korea..

-------

this year, had actually realised a number of things..grew tougher and more mature..and most importantly, start to know it is crucial to appreciate your treasures..it rang my numbskull, family is da one who deserved da first place in my life..mum and dad, bring my bros and me up, with ample of care and pamperings..and my two brothers, i talked more and argued less with them compared to last time..they had grown, no longer da small little kid i used to treat them as before that..

and yet, i did have sweet momory this year..last for less than two months though, i still treasure and i care..regardless it is da wrong time or da wrong person, appreciate it is utmost important in this moment..final answer, had handed to be determined by time..

look forwards, not backwards, as you said..=)

new year, new start!

new year?

2009-01-02T23:19:00.002+08:00

have got no feeling to this brand new year 2009..
make a wish..
i wanna be happy..everyday..
want da curve on da face, to stay..

L.O.V.E

2009-01-01T21:07:00.004+08:00

当有个人爱上你，而你也觉得他不错。

那并不代表你会选择他。

我们总说：我要找一个你很爱很爱的人，才会谈恋爱。

但是当对方问你，怎样才算是很爱很爱的时候，

你可能无法回答他，因为你自己也不知道。

没错，我们总是以为，我们会找到一个自己很爱很爱的人。

可是後来，当我们猛然回首，我们才会发觉自己曾经多么天真。

假如从来没有开始，你怎么知道自己会不会很爱很爱那个人呢？

其实，很爱很爱的感觉，是要在一起经历了许多事情之後才会发现的。

或许每个人都希望能够找到自己心目中百分之百的伴侣，

但是你有没有想过在你身边会不会早已经有人默默对你付出很久了，

只是你没发觉而已呢？

爱一个人，

要了解，也要开解；

要道歉，也要道谢；

要认错，也要改错；

要体贴，也要体谅；

是接受，而不是忍受；

是宽容，而不是纵容；

是支持，而不是支配；

是慰问，而不是质问；

是倾诉，而不是控诉；

是难忘，而不是遗忘；

是彼此交流，而不是凡事交代；

是为对方默默祈求，而不是向对方诸多要求；

可以浪漫，但不要浪费；

可以随时牵手，但不要随便分手。

什么是喜欢，什么是爱？

喜欢一个人，在一起的时候会很开心。

爱一个人，在一起的时候，会莫名的失落。

喜欢一个人，你不会想到你们的将来。

爱一个人，你们常常在一起憧憬明天。

喜欢一个人，在一起的时候永远是欢乐。

爱一个人，你会常常流泪。

喜欢一个人，当你们好久不见，你会突然想起她。

爱一个人，当你们好久不见，你会天天想着她。

喜欢一个人，当你想起她，你会微微一笑。

爱一个人，当你想起她，你会对着天空发呆。

喜欢一个人，你会想她有了孩子，你一定会很喜欢。

爱一个人，会有一天，你突然很好奇：将来我们的孩子会是什么样子。

喜欢一个人就是希望大家都开心。

爱一个人希望她会更开心。

喜欢一个人，你要得只是今天。

爱一个人，你期望的是永远。

喜欢是淡淡的爱~ 爱是深深的喜欢~~~

i thought

2008-12-24T15:06:00.003+08:00

at some moments, she considers herself a failure..
whenever it comes to da first touch of unwilling feeling,
da immediate react of hers is to put up with it, ignoring da groaning of her heart..
whenever da time she realises she is strength-less to take it as her part anymore,
she chooses to escape, she chooses to run..
she is selfish, indeed..

she knows,
she is worst in making decision..
because, most of da time,
she will gripped by regrets in da end..

sorry, could never cure da falls..
apologize, would not ease da pain..

after all, da gal doesn't deny her fault..
yet disagree that she had done wrong..
da main weakness of her is,
she didn't spell da frank words..

i thought, i can be changed..
however, i do not know,
unchangeable is meant to stay as unchangeable..

2008-12-15T19:20:00.000+08:00

i didn't manage my holiday well..
it had gone like that=(

lostworld261108

2008-11-26T22:32:00.001+08:00

we had joy=)

random updates

2008-11-12T10:17:00.002+08:00

take a break..
skip class today..
totally in holiday mood now..
anyhow, how to manage it well..
holiday is da time to push hard..
get every syllabus as my fingertips..

da qinggongyan is tonight..
a new begin for every committee..
have fun tonight..

going to pangkor next monday..
long to have a memorable trip..

my day

2008-11-07T22:14:00.002+08:00

today..
is da happiest day i had since few months ago..
things are solved..
and at last..
da decision is made..
with no regret after much consideration..
i am learning..
to view and judge..
through a simpler and easier way..
because, tiny happiness can simply make my day..
da dark clouds before..
is slowly being screwed away..

i want da joy to proceed, to stay..
da tears to leave..

i am,
looking forward..<<3

2008-11-06T22:28:00.001+08:00

chye jie zhuang

a real restart!

gambateh!

2008-11-06T22:01:00.006+08:00

find these..

it had been so much fun..

miss da moments..

pretty much..

however..

as min said,

it is indeed a "no more" now..

2008-11-04T23:46:00.002+08:00

x = going kl..this sat

y = going pangkor? date is undefined

x + y = holiday is coming!

i don't like you

2008-11-04T23:31:00.005+08:00

they start to wall up themselves..
because they are afraid to care..
they are fear that..
da other person does not care as much..
or even not at all..
this is so real, happening around me

---

we are just human..
live under emotion..

so, i don't like you..
i abhor you..
you grab, snatch, you take by force..
i don't like you..='(

2008-11-03T22:29:00.001+08:00

i hate selfish people..
you are acting too over..
i hate you=[

2008-11-02T15:41:00.000+08:00

RESTART!=)

my treasure

2008-10-31T22:34:00.006+08:00

you come in my sight..
since we start learning abc..

you step into my world..
when you start calling me mum..

when i smile, you are in laughter..
when i weep, you are in tears..

whenever da someone breaks my heart..
you will gather da shatter pieces..
da pieces i am..
you gather them and return me back..
in all da right order..

when you are at my side..
we seldom talk, neither shout nor cheer..
silence, is da real conversation..
not da saying, but it is da never-needing that counts..
you know me, with my just-not-obvious expression..
you can say da words, before i tell them all to you..

when they ask for da person who mean most in my life..
it is da one..
instead to offer advices, solutions or cures..
you take da will..
to share da pain and touch da wounds with your warm and tender heart..

when da quote says..
the friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion..
who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement..
who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing..
and face with us the reality of our powerlessness..
that is a friend who cares..
i know..
you are da one, who meant it to me..

sometime, even you hate me in da other mansion of your heart..
you will still..
love me as all you can..

gal,
reminiscing about our memories..
passing years can never mar..
experience that are great or small..
had been engraved eternally in hearts..

instead of counting candles,
or tallying the years,
contemplate your blessings,
as today is your day.

consider special people
who love you,
and who care,
and others who've enriched your life

just by being there.
another year is a happy gift,
so cut your cake,
and say,
"instead of counting birthdays,
i count blessings every day!"

and yet..
i will send my heartfelt blessings..
every moment you need..

HAPPY SWEET 18TH BIRTHDAY, CINDY~

with love.zhuang.

i may had put you down..
in these few days..
i still..
treasure you..
appreciate you..

2008-10-30T19:38:00.002+08:00

曾经, 你最引以为傲的她;

现在, 就是让你最烦恼的...

moodiness

2008-10-30T19:26:00.006+08:00

when everything is going so miserably now..
no where can i feel da comfort..

face da war..
stand up by yourself..by your own feet..
without anyone, you can lead life with contention too..

i wish i have got da ability~

......you actually, deserved it

CHANGES

2008-10-27T17:28:00.005+08:00

WHEN FRIENDS CHANGE. WHEN I CHANGE.

do you have a friend who is changing, and it's got you feeling blue?
before you get too down and start to questioning what's happening, consider this :

EVERYTHING IS CONSTANTLY CHANGING
leaves fall from tree and grow back again,
weather storms come and go,
hair keep growing no matter how many times it's cut,
da ocean tide goes in and out...

it is just a part of nature.
anything can spur change in a friend.

after all.
knowing that change is normal and doesn't necessarily have to be bad.
unless she is changing for da worst and you are concerned about her well being, give her da space she needs to explore these new interests.
take care of yourself and acknowledge that you are changing even as you feel that.
everything we learn, take in and process changes who we are and how we view da world.

accept da changes

in everyone

noone wanting to be da background

to be forgotten, neglected

noone wanting to put up with emotional words

to stand hatred face, perfunctory response

have been guilty

of giving too much power to someone

and then

feeling helpless and unable to get it back

we feel da situation

but why do we let her control da way we are acting and thinking

because

we give our power to people we think they are charismatic

one smile from them can easily make us feel like a million bucks

so we do whatever it takes

to keep those smiles coming

is it too slow

to realise

all da falls AND falsehoods

sorry does not exist

it is merely

da matter of

learning to love and to be loved

it is time..

2008-10-24T23:02:00.005+08:00

i am back..
for my bloggy..

finally, da exam is end..
da one that means so much, determines how is my life going next year..

i care, da exam for this time..
but i did, da worse of myself..

da physics, i flunk..
not because of da unsolved questions..
is myself..
da careless acts..
screwing me so much to depression and disappointments..

other subjects, got no confidence at all!
not even a wee bit..
hard work is done..
time is sacrificed..
but, da feeling of nervous, panic..
had spoilt them all..

i try pretty hard..
to convince myself..
time after this, reality is to be faced..
which at first, makes me to care so much for da exam..

although preparation is not neglected,
it never bring da results i wish..

it has finally happened to me..
for da first of everything..

and,
it is always better to be struggle than sorry

2008-08-18T08:16:00.003+08:00

i miss you..
it has gone, da time we spend together..

take good care over there..
i do miss you~

yesterday

2008-08-17T17:05:00.006+08:00

had an efficient and effective usst meeting in da morning..
leadership camp preparation is on da track=)
well, meet up with huishi, yanyu and boon in school, ya in sam tet..
surprising to see them..
have our lunch..four of us..but sadly gang in outstation..

i am happy, today..
min, huay and i have done a satisfying task..
i hope it will be da real one..
with no disappointment in da end..
however, we need to work hard to fulfill it..
let's wait monday to come..
there will be an answer..

smi camelot is just so-so..
we leave earlier and head for supper at kopitiam..

kinda waiting for monday, tuesday, wednesday..
da list goes down..
ya guys,

my holiday, BEGINS~ ^^

lovelyFRIENDS & DEVILLISHenermy

2008-08-11T20:06:00.007+08:00

thanks to da hatred faces..
you let me to realise..
i am actually stronger than i was..
how glad that i know..
my ability to put up with all evils words from you is so much greater..
you acts and words are never beating me down..
but they emerge as da motivation, spurring me to go along..
i need some proof,
to let you totally impressed..
and rang your numb skull that..
you are not flying high in da sky above everyone..
please, don't underestimate da people around you..
we may seemingly weak, quiet and soft-spoken..
it is because, unlikely, we are humble and tolerant..
as a 18-year-old teen girl,
problems and arguments should be solved under impact maturity and rational..
backstabbing and giving injustice comments do not get matter done..
although you have got a big mouth,
which always petrify and frighten most of us easily..
however, it doesn't mean truth stands at your side..
i am not afraid of you..
cause i sternly believe,
da matter of fact is firmly gripped in my fist..

thanks to my lovees..
da irreplaceable and unbeatable ones..
who consistently offering mentally supports and physically leans..
thanks for listening to my grieve over on daily downs and tears..
thanks for calming me down during my grumpy manners..
you wipe off my cloudy days, replace them with fun and smiles..
how tough is da journey,
i, with your company, will travel it freely and easily..
i appreciate your existence..
truly, i can feel your love, and
you feel mine too..=)

* although inadequate happiness,
we can create FUN!

and to da other two my sweeties,
i miss you both..
to da utmost..
you can get it, right?
school life without you is pretty hard..
i just miss you~

cindy,da caring you~i am tense and pressured when da time your text arrive..it just simply sew up da darkest thoughts..
"you shall be studying or tt-ing..i'm so genius rite?i miss you,k?muacksss.."

gang,da surprising you~don't you know, i am so-so-so-so-so-to da power of infinity of happiness to see you in school today..i nearly shouted when your face appears..

2008-08-05T20:35:00.004+08:00

firstly, i want to apologise for my current mood swing..

who to blame? PMS?
i am puzzled..

even PMS is overed, da uneasy feeling is still hiding in my heart..

sorry for my arrogant and rude behavior..

i feel bad for it..

sometime,

i hope i can control it..

even just a little bit better..

i am trying..

give me some time..

friends, i am really sorry..

* * *

had an overall meting with pn. lau and pn. chee after school today..

about da progression on sixth form night preparation..

it is our major and crucial task this year..

it determines our capability..
i hope we don't disappointed da teachers..

however, i myself,

start to feel like giving up..

i have no motivation to get things done..

due to many prospects..

counterparts pressure, peer problems, misunderstandings, relationship cracks..

when will all these can be healed?

why is that our unity spirit and family promise getting thinner and thinner?

i feel sad and disappointed..

never meant to blame anyone..

i hope we can overcome everything together..

with no problem arise to make matter worse..

i am not happy staying in sixth form..=(

but, irresponsible escapes is a no..

* * *

SMILE~ a proof to show, huay can eat! =]

nice meal~

2008-08-02T18:14:00.002+08:00

reach school at 7.30am..

actually, it is d 7.35am..

i am late..again..

fortunately, saw vivian at da parking lot..

we both know that we are late, so..

run all da to da hall!

see mingfei and eean are inside sweeping da floor..

feel so sorry..

immediately offer help and do our job..

okay, job starts..

sweep floor, lend rag to wipe da chairs..

teacher enters hall after a talk at lecture hall..

they have another task to do..

* wicky smile *

senam time!

they enjoy their aerobic and yoga in da hall..

erm, i think..

they enjoy..=]

especially mdm ng and mr soon..

then, we sit outside hall and start crapping..

today i just know,

eean loves doing wu liao actions and expressions..

we burst out laughing..cannot stand him d..

and da president put himself in his world snapping photo and video recording us silently..

argh~~ i got weirdy president and vice..-_-'

after all, we enjoy actually!

jiann herng, wong, sian and i go canteen to have some food..

eean comes afterwards..

he bought vitagen..

which ends up, we all follow him buying vitagen too..

jiann herng pops out :

" v is vivian, v is vitagen! "

laugh out loud..

vivian is da victim again..every v is related to her..=P

before presentation, people in da hall are all messed up..

either standing, sitting or chatting..

all are out of our hand..

got no way to help, don't know what should do..

just so blur..

finally, matter sloved..

but. another one coming..

wong, sian and i are asked to inform da performers regarding their performing order..

we got a wrong order at first, so giving them wrong information..

therefore, gotta rush to tell them again da correct one..

indeed unsistematic..

and, i don't like work being done like that err..

but anyway, we fulfill da task..

and return back to hall for da presentation..

all da 8 performances are basically different from those in AMC..

boys school have more active and outgoing performers..

taichi and wushu are absorbing..

make me obessed..(=

most importantly, we are there to support our vice..

he can dance!

and it is totally funny..

we laugh through da whole dancing..

at last,

sam tet coco day ends at 12pm..

after that, meet up with cindy and we head to parade..

she is going to replace her ffk last week..

a meal from her..a good meal definitely..

have it at mp..

eat quite alot..

but still prefer to have steamboat at greentown mp..

anyway, have a nice meet up with them..

friends are still there and distance doesn't matter..

iloveyou~

irresponsible people

2008-07-25T15:52:00.002+08:00

something very unsatisfactory i saw today..on my way home, i pass through kk road as usual..i stop for da traffic light, waiting for my turn to go..however, what sucks is da car in front of me never move when da light turns green..at first, i wait patiently..20 seconds..30 seconds..it remains still..damn it..rupa rupanya da car has run out of petrol and they just stop it at da middle of da road..what make me feel grumpy is da three car owners do not turn on any hazard light to signal other vehicles but they sit at da roadside chatting heavenly like nobody business! i curse them, da irresponsible people..they do not show a single consideration and some more, they left a petrol container on da middle road without taking da initiative to put it back to their car..their action just give rise to more unnecessary road accidents and at last, innocent road users will be da victims to bear da consequences..

can da world just get rid of those people, those who love idling about, giving no contribution to da community and harming our lives..

still there is something worth to cheer me up today..
i meet with gang!!!
haah..ages never c her d..
miss her..
we chat quite a lot although we din spend more time together..
she sounds happy and satisfy with her new school, SMI..
we are relieve to hear it too..
tomorrow, must come out, k?
cindy gotta belanja..
and it is chance for us to meet up again..
i need fun, i need jokes from you all..
ypu all are so desperately needed..
please! just for tomorrow!
before exam war begins..=]

three more weeks for exam..

F1 quote : a chocolate a day, keep da depression away~~~ ^^
let's pactise it..

2008-07-22T14:26:00.002+08:00

..同样的动作

..一个人做

..真的不好受

get messed up

2008-07-20T20:08:00.004+08:00

you say i never care

somehow it is not

you wounld think i am defending

i didn't

sorry for acting to be so selfish

sorry that i'd disappointed you

i bleed when you break in tears

it should ended with good memory

with no animosity in our hearts

however

you are hating me more and more

i comprehend

sorry can never heal da wound

but still, i am sorry

i am such a failure, spoiling da relationship

but i want you to know

i care

BETTER IN TIME ( for you and me )

It's been the longest winter without you

I didn't know where to turn to

See somehow I can't forget you

After all that we've been through

Go in, come in, thought I heard a knock

Who's there? No one,

Thinking that I deserved it

Now I realize that I really didn't know

You didn't notice, you mean everything

Quickly I'm learning to love again

All I know is,

I'ma be okay

Thought I couldn't live without you

It's gonna hurt when it heals too, oh yeah

(It'll all get better in time)

Even though I really loved you

I'm gonna smile 'cause I deserve to

(It'll all get better in time)

How could I turn on the TV

Without something there to remind me?

Was it all that easy

To just put aside your feelings?

If I'm dreaming, don't wanna let, hurt my feelings

But that's the path,

I believe in

And I know that, time will heal it

You didn't notice, you mean everything

Quickly I'm learning to love again

All I know is, I'ma be okay

Thought I couldn't live without you

It's gonna hurt when it heals too, oh yeah

(It'll all get better in time)

Even though I really loved you

I'm gonna smile 'cause I deserve to

(It'll all get better in time)

Since there's no more you and me

It's time I let you go so I can be free

And live my life how it should be

No matter how hard it is,

I'll be fine without you

Yes, I will

Thought I couldn't live without you

It's gonna hurt when it heals too, oh

(It'll all get better in time)

Even though I really loved you

I'm gonna smile 'cause I deserve to, yes, I do

(It'll all get better in time)

Thought I couldn't live without you

It's gonna hurt when it heals too, yeah

(It'll all get better in time)

And even though I really loved you

I'm gonna smile 'cause I deserve to

i still remember when you used to tuck me in at night, and now, you never got da chance, to see me back to number one

i am not happy =(

2008-07-17T17:26:00.001+08:00

unity of us..

2008-07-12T19:45:00.003+08:00

it seems that most of us are waiting for today..

for several reasons..

private and also official..

feedback of ICC and farewell is given..

i finally get to speak out what i want..

and i do hope things changed after this..

essential nutrients should be absorbed accordingly..

one thing very important is..

if you are willing to correct yourself, i am always welcome to hold your hand and work together..

no doubt, with my sincere heart..

i truly long a feel of unity..

a feel of we are in one family, held by unbreakable bonds..

no gossips and misunderstandings..

we are a part of each other, so why don't we enjoy da chance we meet and da moments we work together..

after all,

i love everyone..

at very last, da meeting ends..

new starting point for us-SECRET RECIPE!!!=)

due to da promotion, we consists of nearly 20 persons, head to there to have our lunch..

good new beginning and we really enjoy..

people thought we are in a tour trip..haha..

da SC got not enough glass and they give us plastic cups which usually used for taking away..

-_-"

photo taken will be uploaded later..

we too, have created jokes and funny names for some of us..

namely 'finish eating', 'washing bowl', 'all wet', and someone is now called DA HEAD OF SHARING! haha.. =P

send my heart away to da needy..

life gets easier and more enjoyable..=)

you are leaving soon..one more week left..anything can heal?

gathering~

2008-07-05T22:19:00.007+08:00

have called my softball gang out today..
all are there except boon, sirya and shuqing..
all this cuz xw is leaving soon..
we meet at food and tea, jj..

when i reach, gang, min, huay and their friends are d there..
they have bought so many from da sales..
envy envy..>.<

then, they leave and gang stays there with us..
not long later, xw and phong reach too..
we chat some while and have capturing too..^^

it is so packed in jj today..
and i bump into many old friends and similar faces..
never left out, new friends too!
they are all having holidays and back from foreign places..
glad to meet them there..

today is kinda unique..

someone brings her bf far from utar and meet us..

hahahaha..

she has been teased by us so much..

and we try seaching her lover who she keeps hiding him from us in jj..

hehe..

best wishes to you both! ~in love~

an ex amc senior saw us sitting at food and tea..
from what she says to her friends,
" those softball gang.. "
yea that's what we are..
amc angle softball team unites us from every corner of da school..
faith brings us closer..
though far apart from each other at current,
we never slip a chance to have some catch ups..
once an angle, forever an angle=)

gang and i ~love~

sharon manages to block poh yee! haha..

why you both have such comical expression?

da BACKGROUND is nice!

when we are 18~

when we were 16! *winks*

we grown~ (=

sixth form farewell~

2008-06-29T20:48:00.004+08:00

finally, da function that we have prepared for so long, put countless efforts on it, cause huay to get tuned on so easily, sixth form farewell is today! =) let's cheers..

da night before that, i actually have sleepover at huay's with sian and min..huay and sian pick us from physics tuition class..note, huay is da driver! that is da first time i sit on her car and it is so so so SCARY~~ huay claims that she is driving safely but no one really trust it..hehe..

after min packing all her stuff, we head for supper..that time our stomach are all starving..so da mee are no doubt tasty..^^ it is da first time i go out at night with three of them..there has been so much jokes and laughters in between da times..

reach huay's after that and we need to wrap our presents for our kakak/abang angkat..sian's wrapping skill is very UNIQUE.. ( see, i am praising you~ ) her skill makes us laugh till rolling on da floor d..sian, seashells is nicer than bees err..

we all hit da bed around 1.30pm..looking forward for tomorrow..

-F.A.R.E.W.E.L.L-

11.30am, have our brunch with xing and shunling..shunling is leaving on monday d..will miss her lots lots! muacks..take care over there..dun addict in fishing gold tortoise..

then, we gotta rush to ISC for da preparation and decoration of tonight farewell..we reach at 1pm..da ISC ppl is so stingy that they are not willing to turn da air con for us makes us gotta finish our thing in a ball room with poor air circulation..we can hardly breath and we even have to blow balloons for decoration..torturing ler..=(

baoling them finally decide to go to ladies to finish da signature card..i surely offer my help ler..da ladies is much comfy than da ball room..and i even call everyone in da ladies as talented people..i am excluding SOMEONE..*winks* and we gossip bout her in da ladies too..in fact, nobody likes her, or should corrected to no one can ever stand her irritating attitude for one second more..that's why, we just don't love her, da seducer!

at very last, every stuff completed at 5, we speed back to huay's for our self preparation..dressing and doing make up..sian is even busier, she needs to do make up for min and huay..huay reach home late cuz she gotta settle everything in ISC first..

we are late that night..we reach at 7pm..that is da earliest we can be..sorry sixth form comm..when we come down from huay's car, that is da most malufying moments of us..guys are all standing at da entrance, mostly are da upper six seniors..they stand in two rows welcoming our arrival..oh gosh, that has been so embarrassing man..i don't even dare to look at their expression..

da farewell is considered to be succeeded..except da sudden short circuit..at first i though da lamps are purposely turned off one but actually it is not..nvm, we still able to solve it..

after farewell, we go to mcd for supper..others in da mcd keep staring at us with strange eyesight..they just curious bout our attires..haha..first in life time..

dad and mum come and pick me at 1pm..than i sleep like log..really lack of sufficient sleep lately..-_- nitez!

oh my god.~

2008-06-17T21:59:00.002+08:00

argg..today da gastric cramp is sending me to hell..so sufffering till i can't do any thing i want..it starts from last night since i take da flu pill till this morning..totally gripped by hatred..

go back to school for two meetings today..days are getting busier and busier..=[ a better time management is needed abruptly..

want to apologize for my fast saying today..if it hurts someone, i am sorry!

da hardest thing

2008-06-15T20:53:00.002+08:00

days left..
one and a half month..
no longer, you are here..
to offer a single company..
countless of media can be used..
to keep our connection, though..
nothing remain unchanged anymore..
this is so apparent..
distance can beat a number of things..
so particularly, da feeling..
a corner in ireland and a corner in ipoh..
never can i bear da separation..

here without you..
life will be travelled so much rougher and uneasier..
ample courage and determination needed..
to used to your nonexistence..
driving home alone, especially when rain is pouring mercilessly..
falling asleep silently, with your voice is never be heard in calls..
facing pressure and difficulties in my own hand, no shoulder to lean on..
downs and tears, no one will ever unlock them from my heart..

da most dearest,
i.m.i.s.s.y.o.u
but i try not to cry
as time goes by and it's true that you've reached a better place
still i'd give the world to see your face and be right here next to you
but it's like you're gone too soon
now the hardest thing to do is to say
bye bye

busy weekend..

2008-06-15T20:51:00.003+08:00

-saturday-

arrive school at 8am..ICC banner drawing day! =)
CHAMPION OF INTEGRITY, our theme..
i sketch da word G and R..hee..da R is abit cacated with a huge head and short leg..
in between when we are free, discuss about farewell..
two functions are held simultaneously..tiring..
yeah, celebrate birthday for baoling and sian! belated wishes to baoling and be-earlier-er to sian! =P
leave at 1.30pm, tuition at 2pm..
rushing day, should be optimistic, it is bustle yet substantial..
have beansprout chicken for dinner..tasty..
window shopping at parade..
catch up with aunty keng..have supper together at "zhuk yip cheng"
bump into granny, aunt kum and family..

-sunday-

STAR WALK day! omg this year da path is so long..we have used nearly 2 hours to complete da whole walk..
one thing unsatisfied, we din get da cert! damn..
if we reach a wee bit faster, we will surely get it..=[
anyway, i enjoyed..
meet with gang and you..breakfast at old town "kong hing"..
huay's sis, 0+0=1..she is funny and humorous!!! i love her..with her presence, we never feel bored..i love her!
min can't make it today..her bro has got high fever..it's okay, we still got a chance next year..
wey..who can partner with me in trailblazer? =(

move to new class

2008-06-09T19:26:00.003+08:00

school days start today, my two-week holiday just ended too fast..completely out of my hand..

spot some new faces in school..new gurls..from everywhere, anywhere..believing that more of them are coming in..it's interesting..:D

once step into da class..wow..cleaner..thanks to all da effort from my beloved class buddies..monitor is no longer here, so get a brand new perception prepared to enjoy da new moments in class..

karyeng says two new comers are in our class, one from gunung rapat and da other is far from kl..we are trying hard to move to kl while she chooses to come here..

mr. hee leads them to our class..wong and me raise hand up and ask him about our transfering..he speaks out immediately..today! now? yup now..go..

oh..it is just so fast..mentally and emotionally, i have not prepared to move..basically, i thought only adaption of new B1 class is needed, but not F1..arghh..so fast..=(

soon after that, i am sitting in F1 classroom, becomes one part of them..still trying to use to it..being telling people or called as L6F1..

classmates are surely funny and cute..i knew most of them..boys seem to be more diligent..they din make any noise..

teachers are all weird and peculiar..they have got funny action and conversation..i could not understand them..

anyway, i think at this moment, i will have to strive, put as much exertion as i can..physics is not my skilled subject..however, since da road has been chosen, i need to proceed da path bravely..

wish me luck~ <3>

miss you

2008-06-07T22:12:00.005+08:00

dad is outstation today for his meeting..so i gotta do my part--cook spaghetti..hehe..of cuz a tasty and delicious one..=)

then, go to parade cuz have to pick my bro after he concert at yuk choy primary..

everywhere is having sales..me and mum buy some clothes..earrings at bumcity is darn cheap..yea petrol cost raise, so it's time to purchase cheaper things, especially during sales! [=

it is still early so we go for supper with aunty keng and granny at sui sang..then, go to her house and have some chats..

aunty ngan says her friend helps under grades like me to apply singapore scholarship..her friend got some jalan cepat..she knows da people there i think..so aunty ngan asks for my spm result photocopy..hope what she says is real..i long to leave..

today, do quite a number of studies..crash my head till it burst, still i can't solve da chemistry exercises..i am worrying..physics is a hard task for me, not so much easier than chemistry..i worry these two subjects da most..and due to my english standard, i surely feel panic for my muet paper..more motivation and strength i wish i could have..form six form six..mr. go defines it as da time to allow the teacher to torture you before you being tortured in da university..

may be, after this torturing, i go another path of mine..graphic design may become da other option..

---

oh my gosh, my monthly-visit-guest- is coming..da PMS cramp kills..emotion just get wavy few times, some improvements..^^ but my pimples sucks..so ugly..

---

*and there he goes, so perfectly, da kind of flawless i wish i could be*

2008-06-05T19:49:00.003+08:00

gripped by guiltiness!

note:

i am changing to physics stream. hope it is a right choice. no more re-choose.
my jpa appeal fails. a wee bit disappointing. fate to study sixth form.
today is not that good.
can't use water heater in afternoons. electricity bill is dire raising.

SHOPPING outing

2008-06-04T23:30:00.007+08:00

go for some shopping with gang and min in da boutiques at greentown area..

we buy a shirt..can either be wore in one piece or with a bottom..we get ourselves da same type but definitely da different style! *wink*

here is mine

after that, change our spot to da boutique near kizuna, named estee..

gang needs to head to bank to bank in her salary therefore me and min walk ourselves from there to some shops near waraku..din get any nice clothes but min buys a beaded bracelet..nice=)

continue our shop at estee while min had to rush back to pick her mum..

i get a black pants and gang has a pink top..

after that, we go to jj cuz i wanna buy a shoes from vincci..thanks YOU! <3>

shopping gives satisfactory

have another one next time, k? that time must bring huay along..that is da time when we search for sixth form night dress! it is only for huay! =P

petrol cost raise again.. rm2.70 per litre..it is double-cost per month..dad's burden getting tight..

=============[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[

morning, get SURPRISE.from you! da sorethroat candy and honey lemon..thanks! muacks! l.o.v.e

it is all about yesterday

2008-06-04T23:16:00.004+08:00

yea..it is about happenings yesterday, 3rd Jun..

today got an interview for USST, USST means Unites Society of Sam Tet..well, a bad beginning, i left out da letter at home! i skip da line that they ask me to bring along da paper during my interview..WTH..bad first impression i have given to all da USST EXCO..chances to get it declines..;(

i am to first to be interviewed..speak out confidently and loudly..which i think is da basic criteria for an interview..yea i did it..when i am introducing myself..but for all those questions they ask, i can't really give a suitable answer..my brain does not work that fast to come out with a totally flawless reply..especially when da question comes to which i will choose from between sixth form and USST..

frankly, i want both! i am greedy i know..but i really hope i can be one part of da USST to understand more bout this society..cuz i am curious toward it..and i think it is interesting and challenging..

however, i know how much chance i stand for..i know their decision to either choose or deny me..i don't think they want me..i am not satisfy with my interview, and so, they feel da same too..and i have told them i am one of da sixth form oc, which is still unconfirmed though..but i think they will reject me cuz they don't think i can juggle my time between two main and therefore busy societies..so, it is time for me to stop putting hope in getting da USST EXCO post..=[

haih~~~

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

hey, i cut my hair!

after da interview, go to IMAGE with min for a hair cut..=]

time to chop off my long thin tail..

no more long long hair..

going tt..still fatty fatty face..

can you do me a favor?

2008-05-30T19:33:00.005+08:00

after all..
i comprehend..
everything is fragile..
no matter how long is da time it is build..
it breaks..
just because of a tiny flaw..

i have done my very best..
however,
it may be not da best for you..
i would wish to help..
just i hope it is within my ability..
when it comes to da way where i need to get scoldings..
i won't go forward..
so..
after da rejecting sentence comes out from my mouth..
everything is getting worse..
at da moment..
i realise..
if you want something from someone..
you will need to follow his/her every will..
i really can't make it..
so i surrender..
i will just do my part..
that will be enough..

you talk to me like a stranger..
i will talk da same way to you..
no appreciation or toleration

YOU NEVER TREASURE WHAT I HAD DONE

I WILL SURELY FIGHT BACK

AS MUCH CRUELLY AS I CAN

complicated heart

2008-05-25T21:55:00.003+08:00

these few days, for 24/7..

i am filled with confusion and mess..

i am lost..

i get angry very fast..

a tiny simple mistake will be an eyesore and i will just straight away burst out my voice start scolding..

my mood swing uncontrollably..

tears can spurt out from eyes in one second, after that smile can be seen on face and i return back to normal again..

what is happening?

depression is something i don't wish it to happen to myself..

today, adore so much to this song~~

love da way it is being sung..its tone..

i wish i can be in da natural and unrestrained way like this song..

colbie caillat-bubbly

I've been awake for a while now
You've got me feelin' like a child now
'Cause every time I see your bubbly face
I get the tinglees in a silly place

It starts in my toes
And I crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes
I always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Wherever you go

The rain is fallin' on my window pane
But we are hidin' in a safer place
Under the covers stayin' dry and warm
You give me feelings that I adore

They start in my toes
Make me crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes
I always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Wherever you go

What am I gonna say
When you make me feel this way?
I just, mmm

It starts in my toes
Makes me crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes
I always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Wherever you go

I've been asleep for a while now
You tucked me in just like a child now
'Cause every time you hold me in your arms
I'm comfortable enough to feel your warmth

It starts in my soul
And I lose all control
When you kiss my nose
The feelin' shows
'Cause you make me smile
Baby just take your time now
Holdin' me tight

Wherever, wherever, where ever you go
Wherever, wherever, where ever you go

<3>

da 2nd week

2008-05-24T21:35:00.004+08:00

time flies, i have gone through my second week in sam tet..it really seems so fast..may be it is all due to a real busy week..i have to juggle my time, to allot them well among school lessons, tuitions, teachers' day preparation and my homework..everyday once i step in my room, i throw myself immediately onto da bed..nothing beats a cosy and sufficient sleep..i am so exhausting..i really wish i have more than 24 hours per day..=[

thursday is da release of appealing matriculation results by spm holders..many of them got it..my class, there will be six of them leaving..for most of them, they finally find a way to leave sixth form, a hell to most of us..however, now for me, i am going to use to what i am in now..so, when i know my classmates are leaving me soon, they will not be coming back after da holiday, i feel sad..yup, real sad..although i am still not so close with them, not even talk once to each other, i feel tak berat hati..i prefer their existences..i want to see their faces when i step into my class..really can't bear to be apart..i hate separation..my friends, are leaving one by one..although they are not da closest buds of mine, i still grieve for their left..

when da topics goes to there will be less and less people staying in sixth form, most of us feel sad..huay pops out her opinion that..in this moment, we have to accept da reality..we have to fully understand, after form five, we live life ourselves, no more depending on friends, we can no longer rely on others, we need to stand strong with our own legs..it is da truth she is speaking but i just don't wish to accept it..may be now..i start to learn..start telling myself, i must accept da changed environment now..ACCEPTANCE IS A MUST..

-23th may-

finally, da day has come..my 1st teachers' day celebration in sam tet..i am involving in da preparation..reach school at 6.50am..five minutes late! gosh..speed to sick bay to do our duty..move all souvenirs to da hall from forth floor..tired man! luckily get help from other ocs..hee..=) after that, we give da number cards to all teachers for them to claim back their souvenirs..some incidents happen..then, we blow balloon filled with papers..balloon are needed to pin burst during cake cutting ceremony..presentation starts..it is rather simple and dull compare to AMC's..quite short too..and so, everything ends early and class party is waiting next..(: my class order mcd..i just rush to class to get my food den after eating go down to da hall back cuz i got to take charge da badminton and football match between students and teachers..but actually, nothing much to assist too..squander away our time chatting, watching match and wu liao-ing..it is a real boring day..when i get to know da atmosphere in class is totally different from what n class, i regret din turn on myself in class..baoling told me that they are singing their own former school songs and there is a guitar playing too..oh gosh, so much fun i can imagine..i think, it is all because, some of them are leaving d..it is a farewell to them..no matter i have ever talk to you in class or not, i still hope you all will find your new direction in other places..all da best to everyone of you! love~~~

before school ends, we need to untie da banner on stage..that time, i got a feel of weepy..i think every oc feels da same as me..during da last two weeks, we stay back scarifying our time to get everything prepared..lots of energy and hard works we have put in and we can't take it that it just ends so much faster than we can imagine..da banner is a signification to us, it is da fruits of our labours..we finally, complete our 1st function, carry it out in succeed..^^

you are our soul

2008-05-19T19:54:00.006+08:00

from what you text me today,
i think i roughly comprehend what has been happening around you this week..

i know,
be in a totally unfamiliar new environment all alone..
will be so much tough and harsh..
especially, when you are forced to be there..

when i put myself in your shoes,
it makes me feel worse..
not everyone can take da pressure..

cindy,
be tough, be independent, be yourself..
ignore every devilish talks and jealous thoughts from them..
you and us fully understand..
da reason of them in acting this way..

we have faith in you..
you will get through it bravely as what you did previously..

you ask me to hide it from them..
however, when it comes to a precise time,
i will pour in everything to them..
they have da right to know it..

do remember,
friends are not only to share your ups and joy..
we will still be there for you to partake your sorrow and pain..
never feel fear or abashed to approach..
your shoulders are as strong as you thought..
they can't take too much of pressure..

you know it..
whenever you want,
for 24/7..
we are always available..
ears to listen your grievance..
arms to give you warm beary hugs..
palms to hold you when you fall..
hearts to love you when your world turns upside down..

you know it..
we will never left you alone..
not once..

cindy,
love yourself like how we love you..
like how we always do..

full of love,
your inseparable soulmates..

i hope da smile from you, will reappear, brightly, just as this colour i am using..always, from time to time, you are da sun of us..lighting da path when we walk through, to make sure we don't get stuck..this time, we are going to lead you, till da very end..keep da angle of your lips..it is not that bad when we face it together.. .smile. :)

going to adapt

2008-05-19T19:21:00.007+08:00

my first week of f6 school life has ended..from da 1st day me who keep complaining till now da me starts loving my school..i am adapting for da entirely different school life that i didn't gain in my high school..

it is just da 1st week and i am busy with da teachers day celebration..teachers' day will be held on this coming friday and we need to get everything prepared by thursday..there is a rehearsal on thursday..

1st time of me, join da sixth form society..we really work as one..saturday early morning, we have meeting for hours in reference room..we coorperate very well..finding sponsors, drawing banner, decorating invitation card, solving da flow of programmes, giving souvenirs and da list goes on..ideas are never fail to be popped out by us..we hope to present da specially unique memorable teachers' day for our teachers..this comes to be da 1st function carried out by lower sixs and surely we want a good start..frankly speaking, although i am new and i just know few of da teachers, can only remember their names and faces, after all i understand nothing bout them..i still hope to give them an unforgettable teachers' day..because, i enjoy doing group work..i love da feel of united and be in one mind..

things keep changing and i am adapting..
i hope, i will fall in love with everything around me..

much of loves~~~

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, huishi!!! tonnes of love and hug to you..

your day~

hope you don't mind da cake we present..(:

vividly in my mind, da time when i start to remember your name..
from da time,
when we practising song for english..
when we go to sc tt at pn. poh's..
this was when we have become a part of each other's life..

joining softball will be da most important pages of us..
we know each other, even deeper and clearer..
after we fight and have cold war..

times fly by..
but our friendship never fade..

you are now..
leaving me apart..
though not far but i am still missing you..
do hope with my sincere heart..
you will have a great time in your new place..

do take care..
i know you can make it well..
better than everyone of us..

love you..treasure you..

-a walk to make memories alive-

1st time of us staying together in majestic hotel..

bid a farewell to mr. ten..you still look girly=)

we love this pic..

cameron training..will be etched in hearts..

barbecue is a random activities..

we contented with our victory..especially you, when you are holding da captain post..

time can never be rewound back..

and i, so as you..miss those time, deeply..

a trip to cameron..short however fun..

we share da similar favourite colour..

genting trip, is da last one we have, presently..

l.o.v.e you~~

a day of school

2008-05-16T20:28:00.008+08:00

HAPPIIEEEE BURDAYYY, yun!! din expected from me,right? hee.. =]

suddenly, miss da past when we walk to canteen to do our duties..non-stop gossipings and fooling around on our way..we will remember da path..cherish to da memory..

ngeemun texts me last few days and she makes me flash back bout how we get through all da harsh moments when we first chosen to be da canteen areahead..memorable and meaningful moments we have been..p.a.r.t.n.e.r ever, yun~~~ our quotes, da shortest yet da prettiest among excos :P

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

i am nominated to be one of da members of usst..but everything is still changeable..they just need six girls..six choosed from fifteen of us..rare chance to get it and i still have an interview to go through..i am lost to choose coco activities i want..and today i receive letter from prefectorial board..they ask me to go for an interview next friday..i think i am not going cuz i hope to experience a new way of school life..i am bored in being a prefect..i did it for da past five year and now i think i need some free leisure time in school..no burden no rules..D: but if i just missing myself from da interview, i feel irresponsible..can i just walk in and tell them i want to reject their tawaran? it is after all better then i just disappear myself, ffk all da comms, right?

i have my 1st sixth form committee meeting after da school dismissal today..ST teachers' day celebration is really not that grand and splendid as that in AMC..teacher incharged is like trying to make in simple and easy..and yeah..CHEAPER..long to have an different and unique teacher celebration in my new school..this is da 1st involvement of mine..=)

p/s: i have a form teacher who speaks like a doctor and has a doctor-ed face! cool! ^^

stress!!!

2008-05-15T14:11:00.003+08:00

can consider that lesson starts today..teachers are all hardworking and never let off a second..i have my biology, chemistry, pure maths and statistic maths lessons today..mr.choong teaches me bio, mdm chee is maths teacher, statistic is ms chee and chemistry is taught by mr chua..da only one i dislike is mr.choong..he speaks really soft and we feel like he is mumbling to himself..everything he said can't slip into my mind..my head is so heavy and rejects everything he says..it ends up nothing i have absorbed..

lessons only start today and i am feeling so pressured stress up..at this moment only i realise, i am not prepared yet..emotionally and physically..i am still staying in da past..i am not ready to really face da tough sixth form life..today, i am confusing..i think to change my stream to physic..i don't comprehend bout all da new bio terms at all..it is just da beginning..how am i going to face da rest of my bio syllabus? bio is absorbing to me during high school..but now, i am not sure d..mr chua says in order to get pharmacy i must have 4 flats..not even an a minus..i have to think twice..how i want my future to be..

hope matters will get better as time flies..i will try to put in effort and interest in every subject..i wish i really can make it..

BEAR IN MIND, I AM A PRE-U STUDENT..NO LONGER A SPM SCHOLAR

11A'S MEANS NOTHING IN PRE-U

REAL TOUGH LIFE BEGINS NOW

-be humble, not highly self-estimated, confident in proper way-

-no jealousy, envious, over-desired-

L6B1 2008 SAM.TET

2008-05-14T21:02:00.003+08:00

finally, totally, undoubtedly, CLEARLY!!! i comprehend da reason why da headmaster is being L.O.V.E.d by every boys and girls in school..

he is just pretty sucks!

ONE HOUR + MONOTONE..can definitely killed!

he gives a pointless dull speech for nearly one hour with his monotone..and his chinese is really darn..i don't really love listening to chinese talks cuz it bored me..i feel like i am still in primary school like a small girl..pn. chen, love you so much, you know? =) we clap for four times intend to chase him down from stage but his slow-connection brain works poorly and proceed his kacang stories..sad case..he is not retiring this end of year..we still have to tahan him till we leave school..make me deaf when he is talking, pls..

however, da talk given by ST counselling teacher is totally oppose to da previous one..short and substantial..his surname was chin last time and now changed to chun..so before that he is 精 now he is 蠢!! haha..cold jokes he gives..his name is chun sam tet..so our school belonged to him..adorable of you, sir..he is an eloquent speaker, tells us how to make wise choice, not to regret one day, live life in da greatest way we can..i want a daddy like him too..=}

after recess, class distribution starts..i get to go into B1..my class consists of 21 girls and 10 boys..boys are gentlemen..they help up every cleaning task today..my new class--

-SAM TET LOWER SIX BIOLOGY ONE-

most of my classmates are genius..i can't group them as bookworm..they just come to be da more quite and inactive ones..after all, they really can perform well in their academics..they are willing to study till their lungs out..i am disappointed..i don't think my class will be interesting and fun..i am envious towards B3..their class has da most fun..and i am scared too..i lost all my confidence..i know i'll get da worst grade among them..but you told me to be optimistic..so i kick this thoughts from my mind..and now, i need to be prepared, to be determined..i can't fail! CAN'T..assist my heart..

today have my maths tt..i can't recognise da stair to get up to da centre..haih..poor direction sense..bumped into meishin..she has her tt there too..feeling glad to see her again..she is in rps, same as cindy..=d i have trim my hair again..upper part are shorter now but i keep my hair ends long..no big difference though..hee..=]

form six syllabus, is going to begin tomorrow..i need a change in my perception in da way i think and act..i hope i can be more mature..i hope i will have a tough and challenging pre-u life..

let's gambateh!

GAMBATEH

station-gamed

2008-05-13T23:55:00.006+08:00

played 8 station games in school..in da aim of promoting inter-relationship at da same time sharing ideas and thoughts..i feel fortunate that i am in ST now..from cindy, her school really sucks..babis never come out with something practical..pity her..so pathetic..has to follow unreasonable and strange school rules..they even held a jamuan this sat to celebrate da orientation week ends..rps has too much money to spend..within expectation..cuz they are fully supported by government..

i am in group TITANIA together with xing, yeekheng, keyin and jihyen they all..got chosen to be da assistant leader but not much thing to help up too..hee..=P we are running from getting wet by da water throughout da games..simple reason cuz we never bring our lingerie..^^ luckily boys in our group are all kind enough, they never fail to block da water for us..unlike huay and shunling..they are nearly all wet..so messy and uncomfortable..

after games, have da sixth form agm..candidates give their speech respectively..i vote for my choices..surely supportive towards huay..haha..she is highly qualified what..best among girls and also some of da boys candidates..school ends then..

we loiter at parade for awhile to wait for cindy's dismissal..her stupid school dismiss at 1.30pm..one hour later then ours..cacated school..purchase our needed stuff, chat at da foc marry brown to let hours pass..have some gossiping..reminiscing our former school..still missing our AMC..it makes us feel accepted and secured.. we are not satisfy with da new school though, still don't feel like there is another school in town which is better than da one we are in now..appreciate what we have in hand..bumped into waiyee..surprise to meet both of them..

pick cindy and steer to crazy..gang and you are there waiting for us..have our lunch like last time..have endless chat..how i wish it is a really endless chat..how i wish da time just swill around, doesn't move any further..how i wish~~~ laughters never crease and hide in our hearts when we meet..a simple dialogues is able to make us laugh insanely..i want this to be happened till da last day we survive in this world..we may leave each apart to chase over our dreams, but we will never drop each other away..girls, i L.O.V.E you all! a huge muackss..>.< color="#cc0000">other more and more..you all are da most important one..i am appreciating..

my 1st school day

2008-05-12T19:22:00.003+08:00

yea..i start school today..have chosen form six to proceed my studies..due to many reasons..da main one surely is my parents..nevermind..although form six may be a waste of time and tough to score, but i will try my best..treasure this one and a half year wisely..think clearly what i really one..squander away one and a half year to make sure i don't regret of going da wrong path..it is all worthwhile..serious, emotionally, i am not prepared..not prepared to leave my home, my room, my parents, my bros, and buddies and you..

i reach school roughly at 7.10am..this morning is a real bumper-to-bumper traffic..so many cars..plz, i love speeding, abhor breaking..drop my little bro at his school gate and head to my new school..ya it is my new school for my form six--SMJK SAM TET! a boy school which is unfamiliar to me..famous for its academic and coco achievements but definitely AMC is still da best..

then, we are arranged to sit on da basketball court outside da hall..ya unbelievable, form six students need to be located outside da hall for every assembly..da hall is too small to accommodate every boy and girl..so we need to be da sacrificed one..we sit under da big sun shining mercilessly on our faces..definitely enjoying, right?? darn..i miss da non-air-conditioned dato' chin pek soo hall..it is though so clean so comfy..i miss AMC..=(

we are then asked to sit inside da hall to listen da never ended, dull, alike briefings from all those long-winded penolong kanan and teachers..we sit still there for hours till legs are complaining feeling numb and ache..then, skip to canteen to have a peep on what food is selling..yes no doubt, that time our stomach are starving for food! we need to eat! we love food!

then, have some nominations for sixth form committees..hehe..huay is going to give her speech tomorrow..we will surely vote on you..we support you to da fullest, huay! haha..gambateh! =D go go go!!!

then, a briefing is given by a female discipline teacher particularly to all da girls..talk bout our behaviors, all da dos and don'ts..yea must behave like a lady..be elegant..sit appropriately..no improper skin contact to da opposite sex..lots lots lots..da list goes on and has no ends..=[

last but not least, ice breaking session..da ocs have creative and unique ideas but it just come out with something messy and unorganised..we get ourselves an ice cube each which there is a paper with name written..next, we need to break da ice to get da paper out and go to da oc to get da name tag..finally, give da name tag to that particular person..we actually only use da tape water to push da paper out..no ice is broken..hehe..it is all in a mess and time is rushing..after we are distributed according to group, we dismiss..

first day in my new school, an unfamiliar environment, strange people, new teachers..totally cannot used to it..i miss my former school darn much..as what we said, we used to be arrogant and highhanded in AMC..we walk wherever we want cause we are so used to every path we walk..teachers are like friends to us..we jokes with them, talk to them relieve-ly..every girl seems to be our sister although we may got no connection at all..yes, hell,

I MISS AVE MARIA CONVENT

so much )=

all summarised..

2008-05-11T22:36:00.004+08:00

-6th may-

morning, go to your place..share da long-lost nasi lemak..(:

around four, go jj to have some snacks..big apple doughnut is just open! haha..try few but da best is still WHINNUT..^^ you crafty brainier even put da foc original flavour one in da case and send to gang..to show our kind will..not forgetting her so buy her one..actually is just free of charge and we can't finished it..hehe.. gang, just a trick..no offence, so no angry, kay?? *grin*

after having grilled fish at fook seng, we head to pasar malam..yea..long time never go and da last time was..erm..november? can't recall..tucking lots of foodstuff..contented..and it is time to go home~~~

nice day, beloved..=3

-9th may-

go back to school to get da form six informing letter..school starts on next monday..finally, we receive out letter..da government is darn snail slow..da list comes out too late..no big deal if you have used to it..it is all bout malaysia-government-style..

yea, we gather again, finally..min is back from her ns..she seems enjoying there..tak berat hati to leave there, kan?? nevermind, you still have our company..

-an end-

2008-05-11T21:56:00.005+08:00

FINALLY, it comes to an end..
everything is over..
entirelt E>N>D

11th may..
my last day of my whole holiday..
count from da day i rescued from national service on 11th mac..
it has been exactly two months..

T.W.O M.O.N.T.H.S
got sufficient rest..
eat as much foodstuffs as i can..
watch nearly every latest hk series..
spare moments with family..
catch up with my close buds..unfortunately not all..*weep over*
have vacation that i have been longed..
too..can't be left out..
spend da time i can together with you..

every this, i do..
it is e-n-o-u-g-h
is time for me to keep da unpacked heart
to begin my studies..
time to proceed my hard work..
time to try da very best to achieve what i dream..

this time, i MUST work double, triple hard!
no regret, no worry..
i choose my life..
choices bring consequences..
i am aiming highly..
i want a notable life..
i wanna be exceptional..

dad's advices fly in my mind so often..
live an ordinary life..
hire a stable job..
with moderate paid..
not hoping too much..
simplicity will do..

however, i am not contented..
i am greedy..
i am aspired..
i want more than that..
so, i am willing to work double triple till da infinity--- HARD..
i just..
i just wanna get what i demand

back fr penang..

2008-05-04T22:07:00.003+08:00

da dinner..someone's leg is wet..ann pees! =]

purposely go down from da car to have some snaps..SMILE <3

another snap!

in da ferry going back to butterworth..

nice experience taking ferry..tummy darn full that time..^^

hey i am back..enjoy every food i tuck into my tummy..so yummy delicious and finger licking..haha..a bit too exaggerate..=0

after it, i gain something..know butterworth better, know penang clearer, know cindy's family deeper..she owns a huge yet complicated family..hee..kinda confuse shunling and me..

i love penang food..though din go anywhere, but still enjoyed..thanks, cindy BABE~~~ love you as i always do..muacks.. <3>lovable!

-no title- today

2008-05-02T19:44:00.006+08:00

yea tomorrow confirm going to butterworth and penang may be..thanks to cindy for bringing us..hee..=] muacks..

3pm go to kizuna to meet you..just long to know how is your first-day work over there? still can get with it or not..hope my little support do help you..can eliminate your fear..gambateh, i am always there for you..

then, we steer to jj to have lunch-dinner at mcd..=)

that night..

2008-05-02T11:00:00.008+08:00

totally speechless, i am taken aback..

what response i should give?

i can't bear to lost you..

if i can be mean enough, ignore your every call, every word in your text..

i can't..

if i can be kind enough, forgive your every fault, every negligence you act..

i can't..

i am self-contradictory..

i am lost..

losing my direction, my way to love you..

you with me..

it has been more than one year, though..

we crash..sometimes just too often..

deepest part of our hearts comprehend..

apologize is never accepted..

love is da one to cure..

either i am too unreasonable and sensitive..

or you confuse on what you really have to do..

it is no longer important..

we are both, fallible..

i know it..

lucidly and definitely..

i love you, still.. <3

my eyesore is abating..=D

2008-05-01T13:56:00.006+08:00

a good thing to me..my eye finally getting to abate..haha..when i wake up, it is not that pain and less swollen..yesterday, it really drives me crazy..ruins my mood..got no strength to do anything..and too..thanks to da eyesore, i cant go penang today..dad says da contaminated air outside will makes my eye worse..nervermind..a fortunately me..cindy is not going today but saturday..so maybe i can follow them..hee..=] pray hard my eye will get well by saturday as i wish..

i am being so kindhearted these few days..lend my helping hands to da needy ones..*applause* feeling so glad and proud for myself..=)

two days back, i give a ride to grandpa's friends..a couple of aged husband and wife..they come all da way from kangsar to ask grandpa to fetch them to consult a don't-know-what doctor..da place is just five minutes away from my house..they at first think of taking cab cause grandpa is away from home when da time they come..for goodwill, i voluntarily pick them to da place..haha..so nice of mua! >.<>

and today, i have taught kei bout her add maths on da topic, vectors..it is quite complicated though, i hope i am not confusing her..hee..=} hope it helps in your mid-year exam, kay? all da best of da best..

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

in fact, doing some favor for others is just as easy as taking your meal..a minor contribution form you may become a major help to da other..they will be grateful and appreciate everything you have done to them thus remember you for life..however, why
sometimes i am acting so mean and miserly till even a tiny request i am not willing to help? i am completely abhor myself for being that..i hate being taken control by my emotions..(especially during my PMS) i don't wanna be da contradictory one..when can i be da one who control my emotion and acts rationally? cindy's sayings, we are 99% emotional and 1% rational..but

i want 99% RATIONAL
AND
1% EMOTIONAL!!! (=

...my resolution for my form six life...

a catch up with my old school crew! =)

2008-04-29T21:29:00.009+08:00

oh my gosh..i got e.y.e.s.o.r.e!!! i noticed bout it once i wake up..it is so painful and it is inflamed..even i blink i can feel da pain..damn! i am going out today wey..how am i gotta wear my cons??? =[

mum says not to wear cons and put med..however, before i am going out, still decide to wear cons cause da specs make my eyes feel numb and tired..

i feel so blue as da sky looked so dark

today, is da day i meet up with my old school buddies..pohkye has come back from nilai..i have been long time din catch up with her..miss her! i am a bit late..when i reach, we head to k box..yea..SING K! our favourite..we spend few hours there singing and snapping pics..definitely enjoying ourselves..=D

i stay there till 6pm with pohkye and yeelin..some of them go back earlier d..yeelin, thanks for your ride fetching me to get my car..or i will be caught in rain and all wet..thanks! =>

i am too late to reach home plus it is raining cats and dogs..have a little crash with my parents..they start complaining i am reaching home too late and going out too often recently..haih..what to do..hopefully, listen to it and correct myself will work..make them no vexation and worries..i wish i can be an obedience girl at times..

today is da last day you working at your work place..hope you will have a unforgettable working day and can bear to be apart with your colleagues..separation is not always da worst one..have a nice day, my lover..

will my penang vacation be succeeded?? -_-'

a ruined day

2008-04-28T16:07:00.005+08:00

today, is totally not my day..=(

incident at old town shop having breakfast this morning is still just alright..at least it can be settled and i just delete it from my mind..

night..i have a minor quarrel wif her..i just don't understand why she stops me onlining but allows me watching dvd..i am absolutely NOT UNDERSTAND..

yea i need some relief..that time is 11pm something..therefore, no banging door hard, no throwing in room, no shouting out of my voice..at last, it ends up i get myself a pair of scissors and search for a toy..i need one which it is not meaningful in anyway and din get my care..finally, a small toy bear from mcd is da victim..i cut.it..ya cut it into many small pieces and da beads inside its body are spilt out all over da floor..when i tell you i have cut a toy, you are so shocked..yup i know..it is quite daring and like i am acting unconsciously, i have lost myself..i don't know what i am doing..i am scary..

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something kept in my heart for years ::

i got nightmare at times..nightmares which can cause to wake up suddenly from my sleep..that time, i open my eyes, me vision is blur, covered with a layer of tears, my face is wet..i cry in da dream..dreams which are all bout i being dumped, neglected, directed against from her..since young, i think she is partial, i thing she always loves two of them more..sometime, i doubt..was i too wrong? was i too prejudice towards her?

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when you call..i hug your jacket tight..da smell is like you are just beside me..comforting me..my tears coming out non-stop..i love you..

gao le's BDAY

2008-04-25T23:58:00.007+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, my dear bro! =]

morning, we nap for awhile..*definitely SWEET* <3

sleep for almost da whole day..feel so exhausted after da tiring trip..-_- yeah..1st may is going to butterworth and penang again..with cindy and shunling..looking forward! hehe..=]

go to MP to have steamboat dinner..eat da most we can..haha..yummy and feeling so contented..haha..den go parade to have some walk cause we are really full..we reach there at 9pm and not long after that all da shops are closing..=( bros get them a necklace..

a snap before going out..*vain-ness*

how we eat..

once again..HAPPY BIRTHDAY! plz take care of da shirt i buy you..haha..it makes me half- broke! ^^